Thoughts on Self-Improvement


[Note: I wrote this last week.]

I’ve always struggled with my weight. I currently weigh 300-plus pounds. My shirt size is a 3X Big. I’m almost at a 3X. I’ve been almost at a 3X for a few months now. (I can put on a 3X shirt, but it’s a bit tight and looks horrible.) Suffice it to say, I’ve gotten lazy. My main exercise has been shadow boxing. (Punches only, I don’t worry about footwork or anything; I’m not training to be a boxer, duh.) I was throwing 170 punches, but after adding more exercises, getting tired of short-term work for only long-term gains, etc.—I went down to 130 punches, then 100, then 80, and then I stopped the punches altogether.

This week I’ve had to reset. I did 160 punches on Tuesday, 180 on Friday. So, in addition to my mild weight lifting regimen, I will have to start throwing a minimum of 180 punches, with a goal of 200. All of this is easier said than done. I suffer from depression. I have for as long as I can remember. Some days I just don’t want to do anything, much less throw 180 punches or do three sets of squats or work my biceps (I have different workouts for different days).

Then there’s the other stuff, non-physical stuff—writing and reading. I’m an ADD reader. I’ll start a book, stop it, and then read another one, and then I’ll do it again. And then, one day, I’ll go back to reading the previous book or start a new one or do both (why not?).

And when it comes to writing, I’m a slow writer (I suppose it’s a good thing I write novellas instead of novels). I like writing and I like creating, hence why I do it. But, like with exercise, sometimes I’m just not in the mood. Other times I have ideas, and sometimes those ideas stay, but sometimes they fade, and then I can’t for the life of me remember them.

I guess it’s okay to take a break once and a while, but you can’t let the break get too long. You can’t let the break break you. You have to push forward, sometimes when you don’t want to, but sometimes you can’t. But when you can, do it.